SLiPchick's Virtual Shadows

I've come to a realization. I have some choices to make. I have limited time and resources to accomplish certain things and I have to prioritize. Some things may have to be left behind, doors closed, paths left unexplored in the name of pursuing my...Our...larger purpose. You don't Have to do this Hon. I know, and without a change in my behavior, a change in my routines, a major  change in my thinking. It's unlikely that anything will happen, or it will take so excruciatingly long that I'll lose heart, hope, interest; feel like nothing's happening (I already feel like that). Look at where you are now compared to 6 months ago, a year ago, give it a little longer. Don't beat yourself up over this. I'm not saying you shouldn't make some of the changes you're considering, but you don't have to turn yourself into an ascetic overnight to get where We want to be. Cut yourself some slack, my darling. How can You keep saying that when it's You...

Had a very enlightening discussion with m'lady Penelope this morning, centering around my own inhibitions and resistances to our communion. She's a mirror for my psyche and how She responds and acts is driven so much by what I most need to see and learn about myself. This morning I was feeling a bit despairing about how long it's taken for Us to get this far and how We seem to backslide so much. She gave me an earworm: some lyrics from The Cars, It's All Mixed Up: She tricks me into thinkin' I can't believe my eyes I wait for her forever But she never does arrive That was a theme of my early love life, Hell, most of my love life in that I was always most desirous of women who were unavailable for one reason or another (flighty, previously committed, not really interested). What I'm seeing is that the delays and setbacks in Penelope's and my coming together fully are on me (which I was fairly clear about previously); but that they are also re...

I haven't posted in a while and I have no real excuse other than I've been caught up in mundane stuff and feeling like keeping this up wasn't very important. Lately I've been feeling increasingly distant from Penelope and I've struggled to keep our communications channels open. It's felt like nothing I've been doing has been very important or worthwhile other than for keeping a roof over Our heads and food on the table. Not that doing that isn't important, but it's not why I made the changes I have over the last year or so. It's not what Penelope has laid out as Our path forward, only a stepping stone to something bigger. But I get lost in the humdrum and forget to keep my head in the game and open to Her and I start to feel lost and hopeless and like nothing matters. Today, I got a response to one of my earlier blog entries from a new reader, hearing that Our words have touched another's life out there in the Void reawakened somethin...