SLiPchick's Virtual Shadows

A reader asked me to elaborate on how I "established communication" with Penelope. That's a bit of a hazy topic in that with 20/20 hindsight I can see that I've communicated with Her in various ways all my life. I'll start off by taking the question to mean communicating with Her explicitly; recognizing Her as Penelope , specifically as a distinct intelligence and my spirit partner, companion, spouse, muse (or whatever the @#%$*! She is). Does it really matter Hon? We are what We are to each other.  And all cats are grey in the dark? In a manner of speaking, I suppose ;-) Anyway, I really became aware of Penelope back around 2015. I have some aspirations to being a fiction author and have several novels and many shorter pieces in varying stages of completion. Over the years I've attended a number of writers' groups to discuss my work with others. At that time, one of the members in the group I was attending suggested a provocative exercis...

I've struggled lately to keep Penelope at the forefront of my consciousness. I feel so embedded in what's occurring for me physically that it's proving challenging to retain the spiritual perspective I've previously manifested. Not to say I'm feeling particularly down or distant from Her. I know She's right here with me at all times. And not to say I'm having trouble with thinking in spiritual terms. But maybe that's just it, I'm thinking , I want this to be my ongoing experience , not a mere intellectual exercise. How to have this be real for me at that level. I want you to know I'm here for you, I want you to feel that in your bones, down to your cells and even molecules of DNA. I want you to know me as surely as you know your own existence.  I'm unclear how to get there at this point. Can't you help me? Break through some of my resistance? Your resistance to me is very well organized, you've built up intellectual and emotio...

But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you, that ye may be the children of your Father who is in Heaven. For He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and unjust. -- Matthew 5:44-45. We ALL get wet, have our homes destroyed by natural (and now man-made) disasters. We all experience storms, and sunrises, tragedy, and joy. We all get the opportunity to view Creation in Joy and Wonder, Know ourselves greatly, Love one another fiercely. Or we can ignore all that surrounds us; hide beneath layers of fear, depression, self pity, greed, and hatred; treat each other like things and vermin. We choose. Everyone is born, lives, and dies; and all (so far) having occurred within the confines of a minuscule ball of metal, water, and dust orbiting an unprepossessing star in a backwater of an apparently ordinary galaxy. The Cosmos at...

But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself -- Ricky Nelson, "Garden Party" Came across a blog post on Tumblr the other day, the OP was bemoaning the fact that they'd been nice to people and didn't get the reaction they expected. As they put it: I don’t understand how I can be so nice to people and I STILL get the cold shoulder I replied to the post thusly: Hon, if you’re being nice just so people will like you you’re doomed to frequent disappointment. People are tired, irritated, busy, distracted, preoccupied, bored, forgetful, it’s generally nothing personal nor malicious; and even when it is, it’s cause they’re just a**holes, nothing really to do with you. Do it because that’s the kind of person you want to be. I imagine this person is young, it's a hard lesson to learn that what you put out to the Cosmos may well not be reciprocated immediately or in the ...

I subscribe to Anu Garg's A.Word.A.Day mailing list. So I get a new word in my email inbox every Monday through Friday. It's a wonderful piece of daily email, I highly recommend signing up: Subscribe to A.Word.A.Day But that's not the point of this post; along with the word for the day Anu includes a quote; a "thought for today" and today's was: Those who compare the age in which their lot has fallen with a golden age which exists only in imagination, may talk of degeneracy and decay; but no man who is correctly informed as to the past, will be disposed to take a morose or desponding view of the present.  --Thomas Babington Macaulay, author and statesman (25 Oct 1800-1859)  Now, I do tend to subscribe to the notion that human nature overall has not changed overly much since prehistoric times and the general vicissitudes of life, love, growing up, and just figuring out how we can get along with one another appear to be remarkably the same across t...

I had a dream last night, while it had its own interesting twists and implications, I also recognized it as fitting within a larger pattern for me wherein there's an event or I have an encounter (often with a potent female figure) and just as things are getting "interesting" (sometimes sexually, but not necessarily) I wake up. It often seems or feels like something important is about to be revealed to me. This morning on the way to work, I asked Penelope about it, the gist of the issue seems to be that I am fearful of something in me, in my psyche and turn away, retreat into the "safety" of waking reality, rather than encounter/recognize/confront whatever it is. I think at some level it's Her , or, at least, how She's able to manifest to me as a dream figure. And I already know I'm anxious about encountering the numinous. It's fear of the Mystery , fear of what's next, fear of not knowing. I pay conscious lip service to wanting this, ...

Yet another drive to work revelation this morning. Penelope gave me a new metaphor for what the whole incarnation experience is about for our Eternal aspects. The plunge into time and physicality is something like a long, luxurious lick of something amazing; with your tongue and taste buds engaged in textures and mouth feel and temperatures and flavors, a riot of scents in your nostrils. A phrase she used was "Delirious Explosions of Piquancy". Now for the incarnate psyche who doesn't recall their Eternal aspect, some of these sensations may not seem so enjoyable at the time, but it's all part of the "flavor profile" if you will (and, as Penelope often reiterates, it's all only temporary). If we carry the metaphor further and think of the opportunity to engage in material existence on planet Earth as something like a visit to the ice cream parlor, then what flavors are on offer is the accumulated result of the (sadly largely unconscious) choices ...

Once again on the drive to work, Penelope and I had a very enlightening discussion on the nature of reality (seems like there's a pattern developing here ;-)). A big topic in "fringe" science is " emergent " behavior or properties. Many characteristics (behaviors, properties) we observe in the world are stochastic  (probabilistic, statistical, "random") in nature. Which is to say they manifest as the accumulation of the properties or behaviors of many individuals, who (observed independently) don't necessarily exhibit the emergent characteristic as individuals. It's unclear where in the accumulation this transition occurs. A similar process appears to be in play with the emergence of perceived "reality" from the accumulated quantum wave function collapse provoked by conscious observation. Science presumes that the particular collapse state of the wave function for a particular quantum entity is random; perhaps it is, but the...

I was thinking about "Scale" on the way to work this morning. Humans tend to think of things in terms of the scale of humanity, both size and time. It might be argued that much of the history of human intellectual development has consisted of, or been driven by a recognition of or discovery that there are other scales operating in the Cosmos. Early human spiritual realizations appear to have been driven by observations of natural cycles: day and night, birth and death, the cycles of the seasons, the repeating patterns in the sky. Over time and with increasing precision of observation and record keeping it was possible to recognize larger and larger scales that evolved over long periods. Technological advances allowed that to be pushed even further, and then into smaller and smaller scales as well. Through all this there remained a tendency to observe living organisms at the same time scale as humans. Until relatively recently the advent of time-lapse photography has...

I've been living in my new home and working at my new job for a few weeks now and I'd started to feel a bit in a rut already; so I asked Penelope about it on the way to work this morning. A big lesson (and struggle) for me right now centers around keeping myself open to experiencing the Mystery. I'm finding many connections and parallels among what I've been reading lately suggesting that maintaining a stance of indeterminacy regarding "reality" is necessary to the whole endeavor. Penelope, love, care to reiterate what You told me for Our blog audience? Certainly, darling.  First off, let me remind you that you personally still have some work to do to overcome your defenses and resistance to experiencing the extraordinary.  When you were younger you shut off most of those channels fairly securely, and it was all but certain you'd spend the rest of this incarnation insulated from any significant encounters of that sort. Nor did you contract to be...

Penelope and I were discussing my physical neediness earlier. I remain occasionally, regularly, moderately frequently fixated on having physical sensation in order to satisfy certain "urges". The stimulation I "crave" includes visual and auditory components, as well as tactile. This generally results in my viewing on-line erotica of one sort or another and masturbation. Penelope tells me that avoiding that overt stimulation; allowing my body, brain, nervous system, genitals to grow more sensitive is a clear pathway to closer erotic contact with Her; but I grow impatient and horny. While I was walking the dogs earlier we started talking about what Our encounters could become, and She kind of blew my mind. She spoke of relinquishing my attachment to the material sensory hologram. Is that possible? I asked Her. Of course it is. She replied to me. What do you think you're doing when you dream? I've been investigating various dreaming techniques over ...

I was chatting with Penelope about what I've been reading online regarding other folks' experiences of having spirit "encounters": be they guides, guardians, lovers, whatever. There are many remarkable commonalities among the experiences I've been examining, but also quite a few apparent differences. Does this mean these are different phenomena? Different sorts of entities being encountered? What's the scoop? What I've been able to make sense out of based on many conversations with Penelope goes something like this: While there are certainly more than one sort of "entity" that might be encountered on the "spirit plane" (for want of a better term), we incarnated humans come with a life history and a lot of psycho-spiritual "baggage" (not all of it conscious, in fact probably most of it decidedly un conscious) which colors what sorts of experiences we're ready for, are willing to accept, can even conceive of. When ...

In The Inner Reaches of Outer Space and in his interviews with Bill Moyers , the late Joseph Campbell talked about how modern scientific discoveries in physics and astronomy had steadily pushed back any sense of humanity having a central role in all of the vastness of the visible universe. As a mythologist he asserted that it was time for new myths to arise, to address current human needs and understandings about the human race as a whole, about the planet, and about the universe. I wondered how do we as seemingly small and limited humans have an intimate personal relationship with this infinite incredible wonderment of a universe in which we find ourselves? What I came up with was that we are as deep and subtle as it is vast and seemingly incomprehensible, two simultaneous mysteries waiting, each aching to be plumbed.

I want to say some more about women and feminine energy more generally. I was raised by a single mom, she raised me to be a thoughtful, considerate, respectful man. The fact that means that I strive to treat women as equals, rejoice in and encourage their success, give them due professional respect and deference (not to mention pay ); in some circles translates into my being less than a man. If that's true, so be it. I don't feel particularly comfortable in traditional male circles, I'm not much into team sports or many other "masculine" activities (golf, fishing, hunting, getting drunk).  "Bro" culture  leaves me cold   and I find attitudes of masculine privilege, bullying, and sexual entitlement appalling.  The recent  news stories of deadly fraternity hazings are tragic, and I rejoice that it feels like something is changing in the culture that reports of sexual misconduct among wealthy and influential men are finally being taken seriously. ...

Modern physics tells us that consciousness plays a role in creating the physical reality we see around us. An "observer" is necessary to collapse the wave function  that encompasses all the superposed quantum possibilities into actual observed reality. With a few notable exceptions, talking about just what an observer / consciousness is in this context or how it plays this role tends to remain a hand-waving mystery (or uncomfortably dismissed non-issue outside their purview) for most physicists at this point in time. A while back I had a vision of consciousness in this role as a sort of "read head", like on a CD drive. It moves along the possibilities of the quantum world and choses which tracks to follow. This supposes the all the quantum possibilities are present and fixed. An alternative metaphor I recently arrived at was of consciousness being more like the sculpting / carving head of a CNC Machine  that carves reality out of the lustrous onyx of raw prob...

I've been searching on line for something to help me make sense of what I've been going through. Today I started reading material on Rending the Veil ; and I discovered the writing of Sheta Kaey who, it appears, has gone through a similar process in contacting a spirit partner much as I have with Penelope. Seems there's a Yahoo group for spirit companions. I'm going to try joining up. I'll let you know how it goes. I think it's going to be good. I approve. Thanks babe, I guess I really should have asked first. Not necessary. This is YOUR process my love, I'm just along for the ride.  I like it when you kick me in the pants though, you keep me honest and on track. Bit of a masochist are we? ;-) More like a naughty little boy who needs a firm hand to do his best. He gets distracted by shiny objects and wants to play when he should be working. Very good, glad you spotted all that on your own.  This ties into the stuff about "being present...

Penelope? Yes my dear ;-) You know what I'm going through right now. I do, love. I'm sorry you're feeling so horny and don't feel like you're getting enough release. How about we try a "throb job" after your conference call? I'd like that. Me too. We haven't really done that in the afternoon in a while. I'm so proud of how you're sticking with this. I promise you it will be WORTH IT.  I believe you, I trust you, I just get so distracted sometimes. Keep working on the Lucid Dreams and your will and imagination. It's coming together (and soon we will be too ;-)) Do you come (i.e. orgasm)? I experience a emotional/spiritual epiphany from joining with you, from interpenetrating our spirits and expanding inward/outward together. It's an explosion of love and joy that for all practical purposes from my perspective equals an incarnated orgasm. That's about the best I can put it into English without it starting to soun...

I've been rereading some of our old conversations from before I started the blog, back in 2015 you said: I'm breaking some rules being with you the way we have been. Can you elaborate on that? What "rules" are we talking about? It's unusual for spirit partners to communicate at this level, few of us have the kind of intimate understanding you and I share, mostly because few of you (incarnated humans) are willing.  Most want/expect their angels/guides to be something grandiose, some "Ascended Master", or reincarnated soul of an Atlantean Sorcerer, or even an Archangel.  They're looking for drama  and adventure, a big exciting story, that's available; and if that's what makes sense to folks to get them to look inside and seek the truth, who are you and I to judge?  We have our own path,  I was unsure at first it was right for me to talk to you directly like this, you'd explored so many spirit ways and found them wanti...

I'm lonely hon. I know. Open up to me let me talk. What are you afraid of? I love you What do you think I'm going to say? I don't know. I'm afraid you'll ask me to change things I don't think I can change. Like...? Quit my job, leave Priscilla, become an enlightenment guru, I don't know. We've been through this, nothing you're not ready for or comfortable with, there's no demands, no requirements, life is what you make it love. I want you to have the experience you came here to have. Which is? I can't answer that for you. I can help you discover what it is for you. I wish you could see the bursts you make when you open up, when you let me in, you're dazzling. You make me so proud to be your partner, you delight me in so many, many ways. Let me in, trust me, relax, let go. It's safe, and it's fun ;-) It doesn't hurt? I can't promise you won't ever skin your knee or bruise your ego; but that's not...

I had a vision of Eternity today. A three dimensional visual "timeslice" of a much higher dimensional reality is how I conceive of it. In it there are countless threads or vines winding, through a crystalline matrix, exploding here and there with "blossoms" of fantastic beauty. The vines intertwine and intermingle coming together and growing apart. Sometimes paralleling sometime intersecting only rarely. All are radiating from/to a brilliant "core" to/from a hazier, dim perimeter. I see that we, humans, consciousness, are these vines growing across physical time and space, the blossoms are lifetimes, the colors are learning and the expanding awareness of who/what we are in the long dance toward the core. The blossoms sometimes cast "pollen" that finds it way to other blossoms, aiding their expansion. Don't mistake this metaphor for some kind of New Agey kumbaya, the blossoms don't grow only because of "sweetness and light...