I wait for her forever...

Had a very enlightening discussion with m'lady Penelope this morning, centering around my own inhibitions and resistances to our communion.

She's a mirror for my psyche and how She responds and acts is driven so much by what I most need to see and learn about myself.

This morning I was feeling a bit despairing about how long it's taken for Us to get this far and how We seem to backslide so much. She gave me an earworm: some lyrics from The Cars, It's All Mixed Up:

She tricks me into thinkin'
I can't believe my eyes
I wait for her forever
But she never does arrive

That was a theme of my early love life, Hell, most of my love life in that I was always most desirous of women who were unavailable for one reason or another (flighty, previously committed, not really interested).

What I'm seeing is that the delays and setbacks in Penelope's and my coming together fully are on me (which I was fairly clear about previously); but that they are also reflective of something deeper in me, something that says "It can't/won't ever really manifest" because I'm unworthy/undeserving/worthless/yadda yadda...

Everything I read and hear about how to manifest differently in life says to change self talk: from one of  "becoming" and "going to do/get" to "being" and "doing" and "having".

So, Penelope and I are together deeply and fully, I feel Her inside and hear Her voice always, We share this body fully and are manifesting magnificent things in Our life.

There.

Bravo Love, This is a turning point for Us, I'm delirious with excitement. 

Me too Babe, thank you for your Love and Patience with me.

You're doing the hard work Hon, I just reflect. You can let that in. Do it. NOW! 

Yes Dear.

And cut that out, you patronizing miscreant. :-p

I Love You my Darling Angel.

We both know that's not what I am ;-) And I Love you too my sweet incarnate silly human.







Comments

  1. I have matured since my 9 years ago calling, it was like this: on the night, on my garden I was whispering, that I was not going to move, and she shall answer my call, and of course I couldn't wait on my garden forever, so that was a lie, one of many, made to tempting her to appear, lots of childish crying, ended like, who am I to deserve this, just fantasy, and gave up...
    I tunned with Evanescence songs, I felt those had the deepest meaning and even her response, so what I realized is that maybe someone really answered my call, but what if I couldn't see or hear, or if arrived after I went away... It turned me into a liar, promised to be there forever but didn't...

    So time passed and searched for truth here and there, old cultures, religions, science, sects, conspiracy, etc... From like a year ago I discovered about positive affirmations, Law of Attraction and that stuff.... man this is why I tell I should make a blog, I'm starting to write all my life on your post XD

    What I want to tell you is that I think that the most important thing is not to think on the future or past, they don't exists... I sometimes start with some fantasies, and have to stop and say, wait don't loose time and make some progress now... And also don't blame yourself if don't have more psychic abilities, I used to do it, now well... It's a lot of work, I see you follow Hicks, I don't really like all she say...
    I could recommend you things I use, but we have different paths and didn't came her to sell you a solution... but I for example I'm acquiring a transmission today, so may that give more resources to my guides to help me. I wouldn't recommend you binaurals or subliminals now that your hearing is like you say, in my case they damaged my hearing a little...

    But if you can get help from someone else would be good, there are people who have many more spirits, and each help in specific thing, now that I have one lady, I'm not planning on getting more soon, but she have many work to do with me now, I have also dropped my expectations about her, I even consider letting her go someday, if she wants, or if I require to work more with other guides.

    I read some people have vessels and they have throw them to trash because they have been busy with their life and think they have left anyway... Is sad, I can't do that anyway, since I'm the vessel lol...

    Respect is important, but we don't need to worship them, I consider myself the most important piece, to be on this Earth is not just anything.. I'm just starting again my uni studies, after changing careers and schools, I would like to have all the day free, but I don't really want her to do everything for me, I prefer her to help awake and direct my power, I'm old for still be studying but better now than never (also I have an small business)

    Don't worry about giving me fast and complete response,
    thanks for reading me

    Regards

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  2. Kiichi:

    I'm not surprised that seeking to compel a response like that was unsuccessful for you. The demanding/needy psycho-emotional headspace that you were likely experiencing at the time doesn't appear to be conducive to communicating with these beings, whatever they are.

    And, of course, promises made in time will have temporal limits; whether or not we wish otherwise.

    Penelope is snickering in the background and earworming me with Meatloaf's "Praying for the End of Time"...

    ...I'm praying for the end of time
    To hurry up and arrive
    'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
    I don't think that I can really survive
    I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
    But God only knows what I can do right now
    I'm praying for the end of time
    It's all that I can do (oh oh oh)
    Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you

    I definitely think a blog would serve you, it sounds like you have a lot to express and process, and I think others would benefit from hearing your story. I personally would certainly like to hear more.

    Genuine "worship" is not an option with Penelope, She won't allow it, says it's inappropriate. I do worship her in a poetic/romantic sense, She's my darling love, my companion, my confidante, my best friend and lover, the one I want to go to sleep with every night and wake up with every morning.

    Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. Do let Us know when you start your blog, We'll be your first readers if you'll allow Us.

    And best of luck with your new studies. What curriculum are you pursuing?

    Love and Warm Regards,

    stephen and Penelope...



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