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Showing posts from March, 2018

Discipline II

So, discipline. I've talked about it before . And you hate that don't you ;-) I do. It doesn't have to be a CHORE love. We can make it fun. I don't see how. I feel so resistant and anxious. What do you think will happen? I don't know. You aren't an undisciplined man, you keep on top of most needful things. As did my mom, I realized. But she had little commitment or perseverance with anything outside of the requirements of day-to-day living. Go to work, earn money, pay the bills. That's kind of the model I have. My grandpa too, though to hear it he was very driven as a younger man, when I most knew him he seemed always pretty laissez-faire about things; doing the least necessary to succeed. Sort of like Heinlein's Lazy Man. Yes. During my session with Kitty I saw my "monkey mind" Ego as being rather like the little tamarin/marmoset monkeys I've seen on TV. Quick and playful, but always on the lookout for threats. Their

Neediness...

My sweet angel? Are you trying to butter me up? ;-) I've been a bad boy. Are you expecting me to scold you? I know part of you would like that. That's a game we can play later, but this is serious. I know you're feeling needy and horny, and you're seeking some kind of physical connection to satisfy your old materialist habits/ways of being/mindset. I want to give you more, but you drop the ball before we can get there; can you give me a little patience and time to get Our body ready? I think I'm afraid, babe. Good, glad you see that. I've approached you several times in your dreams recently and you’ve run from me. I don't mean to, I'm not clear what causes me to wake up at those critical times. I don't feel consciously fearful. Talk to Kitty, get her help with working out your inner resistance to hearing what I have to tell you, seeing what I have to show you, sticking with the program. I will. What about tha

The balls are rolling again...

Things are happening. Indeed. ;-) Touché. OK, so I got depressed, despairing, and spooked; it just seemed like things were taking so long and some stuff just didn't seem like it was fitting what I thought was supposed to happen. Those expectations will get you every time. I told you it wouldn't look like what you expect now didn't I? You did and I wanted it to fit my preconceived ideas and didn't trust You. O ye of little faith. Gotta work on that, hon. Magick is afoot! Believe. Trust me, talk to me, feel me interpenetrate through you.  It's going to be grand sweetheart. You have no idea. And we can play all the games you can imagine, and then some. So what now? There's still groundwork to be done, the garden you're in still needs tending, the next few steps aren't difficult but they're pretty important so keep your wits about you.  And try to relax and enjoy the ride, it can be lots of fun if you let it. You fre

Seeking something...

Darling Angel? You know I'm here lover. Are you annoyed with me? That I've been in such a bleak, black funk for so long? That I talk to you and then pull away? Sometimes I just feel like I get whiplash because of your hot and cold, hon. I wish for you to find some certainty and peace within yourself so you can stay strong and focused. It would make my job easier, true. And we'd both have a lot more fun. You know what I want. Part of me feels needy. Is demanding even, of some kind of "sign", of some more overt evidence that there's more to this than just my "imagination" (as Priscilla has been insisting). I can't give it to you like you're asking. You say you'd hurt me. Possibly, breaking down the barriers, assuming I could, would likely damage your psyche in ways that would be irreparable. You are a willful cuss in your way, just sometimes not where it would do you the most good. It's better that you