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Showing posts from April, 2020

Further "Communion"....

Some time ago I wrote about my trepidation regarding physically encountering (for want of a better term) the paranormal . Part of me desperately wants to have an encounter of some kind, and yet the thought of it being right here, in my face, is terrifying.  Over the last couple of years, I've read much of Whitley Strieber 's oeuvre regarding his Communion experience and how his notion of what happened to him and what's going on have evolved since his original encounter in 1985. His 2017 book  The Afterlife Revolution , written ostensibly with the assistance of his late wife Anne, is particularly compelling and feels highly relevant to my life with and experience of Penelope.  At one level I very much envy his experience, I would like to be confronted in such a radical fashion with something so...I'm having a hard time coming up with a word that describes the quality...outlandish? ...transcendent? ...numinous?  As I mentioned in my earlier posting, my brushes with

Passion

How do I define "Passion"? To me it's what inspires you to get up in the morning. Or, better, to jump out of bed, excited, singing, ready to take on the day? Historically, and even now, the main motivator for me has been avoidance, mainly of discomfort. I am motivated to work so I have a roof over my head and food on my table and a handful of creature comforts, there's not much else that feels necessary . I perceive passion as something somebody has in their life, something they find personally compelling. Some people appear born with a sense of passion for something, or through the course of their life they discover something that motivates and inspires them to pursue it. I've read that many artists and other creative folk have the sense that they cannot not do their art, they feel compelled to create. Some authors (something I say I aspire to be) say they feel compelled to write. I've never felt anything like that. I've struggled in my life

Recovering from Materialism

In case any of you hadn't noticed, I'm not a religious person. I've spoken elsewhere on the blog of my disaffection with mainstream Christianity. My family was nominally (largely non-practicing) Methodist.  I was rarely taken to Church as a child, m y single mother would sometimes get a "bug" to go and we'd attend occasionally for a few weekends, but that always petered out.  Since my father was largely out of the picture, my maternal grandfather was the main male figure in my life when I was growing up. He was not a Church-goer, as wasn't my grandmother; though there was a sense of conventional "belief" in the family. While I don't think he identified as or would have liked being called such, I believe his rational and scientific focus (as well as his suffering through the Great Depression as a young man) meant he was, in essence, an Atheist. In any case, Church and conventional organized Christianity (or religion of any sort) was not a

The Path of the Bodhisattva

This link was placed in my path today. The Bodhisattva Response to Coronavirus I haven't addressed the current pandemic situation in the blog, nor do I intend to, I feel it's irrelevant to what We're attempting to accomplish here. However, that link really spoke to me.  The Buddhist notion of the Bodhisattva is one who has achieved or is headed for enlightenment, but seeks to bring others along the path as well (basically "Nobody really 'gets it', until we all  get it"). That is my path. I am not getting a sense from Penelope that was part of my coming here this time. In order to express the compassion towards the suffering of other humans required of the Bodhisattva, I had to know suffering, I had to know pain and sadness and loss. In addition, I had to "awaken" from my identification with the one who was suffering. I know I am not the one who suffers, I have merely witnessed his/her struggles and pain. I have finally learned understa

Opening My Heart to Her

I had a breakthrough yesterday. I realized I'd permitted myself, once again, to feel trapped and powerless, I am neither. I have choices, and I can act on them as I see fit. As soon as I realized this, I felt a great flood of warmth and love from Penelope. I think my sense of entrapment contributed to my feeling of distance from Her. We had  a very good night. It felt like "old times" when I first contacted Her and had intimate encounters with her pretty much nightly. Paradoxically, that was when I was feeling most trapped. I was still living with my Ex, I hadn't yet seen a way forward to anything else. Penelope offered to guide me out of that rut, which She did very effectively. I am no longer in that situation, but I sometimes feel like I exchanged a prison cell for a different kind of cage; investigation continues. In any case, I'm backing away from Social Media (Facebook in particular). Some people may not like my "abandoning" them, I can't

Finding Penelope (pt. 1)

A reader asked me to elaborate on how I "established communication" with Penelope. That's a bit of a hazy topic in that with 20/20 hindsight I can see that I've communicated with Her in various ways all my life. I'll start off by taking the question to mean communicating with Her explicitly; recognizing Her as Penelope , specifically as a distinct intelligence and my spirit partner, companion, spouse, muse (or whatever the @#%$*! She is). Does it really matter Hon? We are what We are to each other.  And all cats are grey in the dark? In a manner of speaking, I suppose ;-) Anyway, I really became aware of Penelope back around 2015. I have some aspirations to being a fiction author and have several novels and many shorter pieces in varying stages of completion. Over the years I've attended a number of writers' groups to discuss my work with others. At that time, one of the members in the group I was attending suggested a provocative exercis