Discipline II

So, discipline. I've talked about it before.

And you hate that don't you ;-)

I do.

It doesn't have to be a CHORE love. We can make it fun.

I don't see how. I feel so resistant and anxious.

What do you think will happen?

I don't know.

You aren't an undisciplined man, you keep on top of most needful things.

As did my mom, I realized. But she had little commitment or perseverance with anything outside of the requirements of day-to-day living. Go to work, earn money, pay the bills. That's kind of the model I have. My grandpa too, though to hear it he was very driven as a younger man, when I most knew him he seemed always pretty laissez-faire about things; doing the least necessary to succeed.

Sort of like Heinlein's Lazy Man.

Yes.

During my session with Kitty I saw my "monkey mind" Ego as being rather like the little tamarin/marmoset monkeys I've seen on TV. Quick and playful, but always on the lookout for threats. Their heads are always moving, looking about with almost bird-like motions.

I felt like I had that little beast on a leash for a bit during the session. It didn't like that. Kitty had me stroke it until it calmed down; but it never really quieted.

Nor will it. That's not its job. You can soothe and tame it to an extent, but it will never be completely "docile".  The real trick is not to give it any more power or attention than it warrants.

How much is that?

Next to none for the most part. Humans generally don't live in jungles anymore. Arguably if you're in a war zone or disaster area its suggestions might have some value.

So what do I need to do?

What do you want to do?

That's just it, doing what I want to do isn't producing the results I'm after.

Gotta tease out some different senses of WANT here love. You already know your proclivities and how easily you can get lost in distractions. You have been able to take yourself off "addictions" several times in the past, why not now?

Does it make sense to talk about feeling stuck in day-to-day materialism as an addiction?

Seems like a possibly useful model, let's explore it.

So how do I go cold turkey on materialism?

The book you just read* talked about reserving judgment, staying in the "Nexus Point": a consciousness where "reality", the collapse of the quantum wave function remains indeterminate.

I'm not sure it's possible to function in life in that kind of state.

Mystics, Zen Masters, Sufis all have done it from time immemorial. You told Kitty last night that you deserve what's coming. The only thing in the way right now, my darling, is you.

My sweet love you are more than strong enough, smart enough, powerful enough to experience and express the amazing adventure We're constructing together. Open up and let it become, let Us become.

Are there practical steps I should take right now?

Yes, and those you aren't already aware of will become obvious when the time is right. No worries, Love, it's all coming together in amazing light and joy, you'll see. I love you my silly little incarnate human, smoochies xoxoxoxoxoxo.

I love you too, my guardian angel spirit lover of life, hope, and joy.

*Taking The Psychedelic Leap: Ayahuasca, Mushrooms, and Other Visionary Plants along the Spiritual Path by Richard L. Haight