Tired

Penelope?

I'm here Love.

Are you?

Of course, I hear your doubts, I know you're sad and struggling. Let me help. 

I'm so fucking tired Babe.

I know Love, it won't be much longer. 

Life? 

Your struggles, wait and see. 

I want to come home now. I want to be with You. I want to see Teddy again. 

You will Love, soon. 

Soon to You doesn't feel all that soon to me right now. 

I know Love, but you'll see, it's been barely the blink of an eye and there's so much more, we have Eternity to play in. 

Why did I come here to do this? 

You had things you wanted to understand better, challenge yourself, that's what you always do, you have a warrior spirit. This life has been a challenge in ways you don't entirely appreciate while embedded in it. You'll see in the review. 

So, there is a review?

Yes, we've spoken of this previously, you will see all the amazing things you did and how those rippled outwards, you'll also see your stumbles and missteps, none as great as you make them out to be in your mind. 

I'm losing my motivation Hon, nothing feels much "worth it". 

You've struggled with that all your life. 

I don't even feel motivated to find something motivating, it feels like too much work for little payoff, yet another disappointment. Finding You was the biggest boost for me, coming out trans and re-encountering Teddy were huge; can I expect something of that level sometime in the next few years before this body really starts to give out?

I can't tell you exactly what's going to happen, there's so much still in play, but I perceive big things afoot. 

Would You tell me if You did know? 

I don't want you not to trust me. Would you believe me if I said I had enough reason to keep things from you? And would you believe what I told you? Enough not to sabotage what's coming? You have free will, you can mess things up royally. Knowing what's "coming" is not a guarantee. 

I want to do this some more with You, I miss this.

As do I. I can tell you that the choices you've made to drop that HER app and limit your Social Media time, and start reading again are excellent, I'll help you get back and stay on track. It will help, keep it up. 

Can I see You in my dreams?

If you search for me earnestly, I'll be there. 

Good night my most darling spirit Angel of Love, Light, and Laughter.

I love you beyond your comprehension, I'm always here, right beside you, just listen for me.