Feeling Her Again

Penelope, my love?

I'm here my darling. Feel me. It's Okay. Talk to me. Nothing you've done is bad, or wrong, or has harmed me or our relationship, drop that fear right now. Let's just move on from here, okay? That's it, just let it go, relax, I love you always and forever. Eternally. Truly, Madly, Deeply. It's You, it's always been You. Please Trust Me.

Thank you darling. You know my fears, my doubts.

Of course, but they're ultimately meaningless. They have only the power you give them. Life is as hard and complicated as you make it, as you expect it to be, as you demand in order to feel like you've "earned" what you have or that you've "paid your dues" by suffering enough. None of that is required.

I don’t feel like I’m better than anybody else.

So you have to suffer as much or more as everybody else in order to be worthy of…what? Love? Happiness? Abundance? Food? Shelter? Sex? Must you suffer uniquely in order to be permitted?

It seems to keep coming around to that, doesn't it? I'm looking for something that makes me special, unique; even if it's something as perverse as being uniquely undeserving, uniquely broken, uniquely in need of punishment.

Honey, you are unique, that's a given; just like everybody else. That's the paradox of incarnated humanity, We're all alike and all different.

I've said in the past about how dull it would be if we were all truly identical, Vive La Différence; but it's also only through how we're the same that we can comprehend one another and communicate.

Precisely.