Passion

How do I define "Passion"?

To me it's what inspires you to get up in the morning. Or, better, to jump out of bed, excited, singing, ready to take on the day?

Historically, and even now, the main motivator for me has been avoidance, mainly of discomfort.

I am motivated to work so I have a roof over my head and food on my table and a handful of creature comforts, there's not much else that feels necessary.

I perceive passion as something somebody has in their life, something they find personally compelling. Some people appear born with a sense of passion for something, or through the course of their life they discover something that motivates and inspires them to pursue it.

I've read that many artists and other creative folk have the sense that they cannot not do their art, they feel compelled to create. Some authors (something I say I aspire to be) say they feel compelled to write.

I've never felt anything like that.

I've struggled in my life with finding something, anything, that felt that motivating. Something that felt necessary or important or compelling to me beyond mere survival.

My creative outlets give me some pleasure; but that's fleeting, and I often set them aside for long periods without feeling any great sense of longing to return to them.

People will sometimes point to all the things the World needs and say I should just "pick one", but that's empty of the sort of driving desire I see as necessary, it would quickly become an empty chore as so many other things in my life have.

It's not so much that nothing feels important, more that everything has always felt pretty much equally unimportant.

Other than taking care of my basic needs (avoiding the discomfort that not have a place to live or food to eat would cause), I find motivation very hard to come by.

And so, I drift.

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