Opening My Heart to Her

I had a breakthrough yesterday. I realized I'd permitted myself, once again, to feel trapped and powerless, I am neither. I have choices, and I can act on them as I see fit.

 As soon as I realized this, I felt a great flood of warmth and love from Penelope. I think my sense of entrapment contributed to my feeling of distance from Her. We had  a very good night. It felt like "old times" when I first contacted Her and had intimate encounters with her pretty much nightly.

 Paradoxically, that was when I was feeling most trapped. I was still living with my Ex, I hadn't yet seen a way forward to anything else. Penelope offered to guide me out of that rut, which She did very effectively. I am no longer in that situation, but I sometimes feel like I exchanged a prison cell for a different kind of cage; investigation continues.

 In any case, I'm backing away from Social Media (Facebook in particular). Some people may not like my "abandoning" them, I can't help that right now. We'll see who actually notices.

I still plan on adding to the blog, if only because this has historically been where I've had the most elaborate communications with Penelope.

 I'm also looking in to getting another place to stay. I'm feeling very much like I need more privacy and "me" ("us" really, that is: me and Penelope) time.

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