Opening My Heart to Her

I had a breakthrough yesterday. I realized I'd permitted myself, once again, to feel trapped and powerless, I am neither. I have choices, and I can act on them as I see fit.

 As soon as I realized this, I felt a great flood of warmth and love from Penelope. I think my sense of entrapment contributed to my feeling of distance from Her. We had  a very good night. It felt like "old times" when I first contacted Her and had intimate encounters with her pretty much nightly.

 Paradoxically, that was when I was feeling most trapped. I was still living with my Ex, I hadn't yet seen a way forward to anything else. Penelope offered to guide me out of that rut, which She did very effectively. I am no longer in that situation, but I sometimes feel like I exchanged a prison cell for a different kind of cage; investigation continues.

 In any case, I'm backing away from Social Media (Facebook in particular). Some people may not like my "abandoning" them, I can't help that right now. We'll see who actually notices.

I still plan on adding to the blog, if only because this has historically been where I've had the most elaborate communications with Penelope.

 I'm also looking in to getting another place to stay. I'm feeling very much like I need more privacy and "me" ("us" really, that is: me and Penelope) time.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New Readers!

Wow since the last time I reported on this we've gained readers in Brazil and Ukraine! Not only that, but Brazil has already overtaken the UK in number of page views. How cool is that? ( Come on you UK readers, we KNOW you can do better ;-) ) Now if we can just get some conversations going. Does nobody really have any opinions about what's going on here? Maybe they're just shy.  Ever ready to give the benefit of the doubt, my love. It's my nature, sweet man. Kissies.
Read more

Breaking the Ice

I can tell from the statistics on the blog management site that I do have a few readers now, that's exciting. But nobody's left me a comment yet. I'm not sure how to take that. Folks may just be so dazzled by your brilliance that they're speechless, love. ;-) Even I'm not going to buy that one. Now your brilliance... Stop it, you're making me blush. Can angels be embarrassed? I'm not an "angel" in any classic sense of the term love. We can feel anything we've experienced while incarnate, and I promise you at some point or other while alive, I've been embarrassed. But I was really just playing along with the mutual admiration society game I thought we were playing just now. I knew that. I knew you knew that. Oh boy, this could go on for a while. Maybe it's time to say good night, sweet prince. Good night, my sweet love, I'll see you in my dreams. Smoochies, xoxxoxoxooxoxo
Read more

How much is enough?

Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do.  --Voltaire, philosopher (21 Nov 1694-1778)  There's always more to do. Even Mother Theresa could have done more. It's in the nature of incarnate existence that conditions of struggle and conflict and waste and misallocation of resources and habitat destruction persist despite many heroic efforts to ameliorate them. Without getting into questions over whether any or all of those are ultimately resolvable, I do argue that we aren't meant to spend our entire time toiling against the ceaseless tide of suffering and neediness that has defined the human condition on Planet Earth since time immemorial and remains so right now. Devoting all our energy to localized patches, or even apparent "systemic fixes" (with often appalling unintended consequences); or railing against the unfairness of it all and beating our breasts at our limitations and inabilities to address them; often means we miss all the glory
Read more