Unmotivated

Recently I've been feeling isolated and "stuck"; having trouble seeing what's next, what I should be working on, focusing on.

Simultaneously I've been feeling distant and out of touch with Penelope; which I know is completely my doing, She has not moved or changed in Her openness or availability to me, it's all me. 

I have a long history of withdrawing when I'm feeling lonely, and lazy, and tired. I cut myself off from even my most favorite people, often to my detriment.

I'm not sure that it's even that I want somebody to come after me (though being gently inquired after can be nice). I recognize that sometimes I need time to get over myself, quit feeling sorry for myself. 

I'll get there.

Penelope tells me we have work to do, and I need to be ready.

Right now part of me just feels like I don't want the job any more; I'm tired, I just want to wind my life down and go Home.

It seems like so much struggle recently, like I don't know what's the point of my continuing this effort when it seems like so little result is apparent.

I asked Penelope to give me some signs, some indications that our connection was accomplishing something, that this wasn't all futile.

Then over the last few days I've had several encounters that have touched me deeply.

She is delivering for me, in spades, if I have the eyes and heart to recognize it.

Why does it not feel like enough?





Comments

  1. NathanMarch 15, 2020 at 4:41 AM

    It sounds like you were going through a temporary "dark night of the soul".

    I'm at the point to where all I want to do is kick back and channel Nathan all to myself and then I have my "I want to go Home" meltdowns with him. He says "no, it's not time, yet". I am not told of any work per se but he tells me he found he likes to educate. He has done so through "Mighty Networks" but all the information is like a fart in the wind there. It sounds like Penelope also wants to teach to, with and through you, too.

    As far as "why does it not feel like enough", there is more on many levels there are yet to "feel" or "receive". I'll turn it over to Nathan from here.

    Nathan:

    Nathan: Expectation gets in the way. Monica is experiencing similar issues here. She's kind of stagnated due to external demands of her life. Her expectation is to interact directly with me in dreamstate, yet, she has to clean out her mind via meditation and eliminating bad influences but the main problem is the job she has and a dependent family. I try to talk her through the stressors of these demands.

    It appears Penelope wants to educate people through and to you, as well. But, expectation can block progress. She already knows you may not aways be up to par, however, you're called to action here.

    We, as spirit mentors, choose you. You don't choose us. Penelope chose you. You're doing great. Please be ready for the next encounter as you continue forward. You already are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. StefanyaMarch 15, 2020 at 7:52 PM

      Nathan:

      Thank you for this feedback. I'm very aware that Penelope is seeking to communicate and teach through me. I have been accumulating many of our interactions and Her transmissions to me here in the blog and elsewhere. I'm unclear as yet how to make the leap beyond that.

      I too feel like I have some...entanglements that are interfering and limiting what I can do, what avenues I can explore. I'm unclear how to get those off my plate right now, at least not without causing severe damage to people I care about, and to myself for violating my principles.

      In any case, as I've indicated elsewhere, I treasure your input and perspective. I'm so glad to have you as an additional voice for my experience.

      Delete

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