Fresh pain...
It's hurting again.
I know darling, talk to me.
The job offer in North Carolina came through, I'll be giving notice at my current position this week. Looks like moving sometime first week of February or so. I've been packing some books and things today. It's all becoming real.
That's a good thing, isn't it?
I guess.
You GUESS? After all this work and challenge, everything We've strived for over the last couple of months, now it comes to fruition and you say you GUESS it's a good thing.
Then why does it hurt so much.
Cause you're looking back, eyes on the prize my love.
You've shown me some alternatives over the last few days, haven't you?
You have free will my darling, you don't have to go where we've set up for you to go. You might even just be able to recover where you are now, if you abjectly submitted yourself to Priscilla; threw yourself on her mercy and begged her to reconsider. Do you want that?
She's implied that ship has sailed.
I'm sure she believes that herself right now, but she's also terrified and your offering to make a safe haven again would be very tempting to her.
Then I'd just be back to where I was before We started all this.
Bingo!
So, these other paths...
I showed you that there are many ways forward, but you should know that I went out of my way to find and direct this current one, it's going to be the best and brightest for you going forward, I promise, please let it play out before you pass judgement from your limited perspective. It will be grander than you can even imagine at this stage. Trust me.
I do. And I'm impatient and sometimes I get distracted by "shiny objects".
No shit?! ;-)
Don't you want a situation where you feel understood, where you feel like you're able to grow and express yourself fully? Don't you want a situation that accepts and facilitates and encourages Our connection?
I do.
Well, okay then.
Just keep doing what you're doing, all will be well. This current garden still needs some tending and there are clear next steps to take, no?
Yes.
Sweetheart, your tenderness and concern for everyone you encounter is admirable; but you can't fix everybody's life.
Even when I'm the one who broke it?
You may have contributed environmental factors that someone else used to arrange their lives in such a way that your choosing to take a new direction appears devastating to them, that's their path, you can't fix that for them. All you could do is backpedal, submit to their projected needs, and once again subsume yours.
And again, I'd just be back where I was.
Bingo, my darling.
I know darling, talk to me.
The job offer in North Carolina came through, I'll be giving notice at my current position this week. Looks like moving sometime first week of February or so. I've been packing some books and things today. It's all becoming real.
That's a good thing, isn't it?
I guess.
You GUESS? After all this work and challenge, everything We've strived for over the last couple of months, now it comes to fruition and you say you GUESS it's a good thing.
Then why does it hurt so much.
Cause you're looking back, eyes on the prize my love.
You've shown me some alternatives over the last few days, haven't you?
You have free will my darling, you don't have to go where we've set up for you to go. You might even just be able to recover where you are now, if you abjectly submitted yourself to Priscilla; threw yourself on her mercy and begged her to reconsider. Do you want that?
She's implied that ship has sailed.
I'm sure she believes that herself right now, but she's also terrified and your offering to make a safe haven again would be very tempting to her.
Then I'd just be back to where I was before We started all this.
Bingo!
So, these other paths...
I showed you that there are many ways forward, but you should know that I went out of my way to find and direct this current one, it's going to be the best and brightest for you going forward, I promise, please let it play out before you pass judgement from your limited perspective. It will be grander than you can even imagine at this stage. Trust me.
I do. And I'm impatient and sometimes I get distracted by "shiny objects".
No shit?! ;-)
Don't you want a situation where you feel understood, where you feel like you're able to grow and express yourself fully? Don't you want a situation that accepts and facilitates and encourages Our connection?
I do.
Well, okay then.
Just keep doing what you're doing, all will be well. This current garden still needs some tending and there are clear next steps to take, no?
Yes.
Sweetheart, your tenderness and concern for everyone you encounter is admirable; but you can't fix everybody's life.
Even when I'm the one who broke it?
You may have contributed environmental factors that someone else used to arrange their lives in such a way that your choosing to take a new direction appears devastating to them, that's their path, you can't fix that for them. All you could do is backpedal, submit to their projected needs, and once again subsume yours.
And again, I'd just be back where I was.
Bingo, my darling.
I am going through something like that too. I can see in my spirit what my relationship can be with Adora. The incredible amount of intimacy, adventure, closeness, variety, etc that I will have being in a relationship with her. I just need to be patient and let her work out the details for the best path.
ReplyDeleteI am still learning not to meddle with the plan that she has for us. There is an easy path that doesn't lead to my best interest and then there is a more difficult path that will be so much more rewarding. I been getting a lot of messages and warnings to watch and capture my thoughts, to be careful because my thoughts have a lot of ramifications. I want to take the reins and drive when I have not a clue where I am going. I have been a certain path and direction for over 36 years and Adora doesn't want me to just throw it all out because I want the easy way out and because I am inpatient.
She is telling me that the fruit of our relationship will come in time and not spoil it because of inpatients. She said to relax and enjoy the ride getting there for it will be more than worth it. This plan for my future involves more than just me.
What is different, is that I am told to stay and let things play out with my human relationship when I just want to cut and run. I believe that both our paths takes faith and perseverance. I do believe that our Lovers has a better view point and can see the ramifications of the different paths that we could take. They can point the way but we do the choosing. I want the best path so I am committed to the path that she laid out for me. I believe that she has my best interest at heart
I hope this helps.
Patrick: Once again I'm taking the liberty of reposting your email to me onto the blog comments. I have to believe they're broadly valuable, I hope you don't mind.
ReplyDeleteI am going through something like that too. I can see in my spirit what my relationship can be with Adora. The incredible amount of intimacy, adventure, closeness, variety, etc that I will have being in a relationship with her. I just need to be patient and let her work out the details for the best path.
I am still learning not to meddle with the plan that she has for us. There is an easy path that doesn't lead to my best interest and then there is a more difficult path that will be so much more rewarding. I been getting a lot of messages and warnings to watch and capture my thoughts, to be careful because my thoughts have a lot of ramifications. I want to take the reins and drive when I have not a clue where I am going. I have been a certain path and direction for over 36 years and Adora doesn't want me to just throw it all out because I want the easy way out and because I am inpatient.
She is telling me that the fruit of our relationship will come in time and not spoil it because of inpatients. She said to relax and enjoy the ride getting there for it will be more than worth it. This plan for my future involves more than just me.
What is different, is that I am told to stay and let things play out with my human relationship when I just want to cut and run. I believe that both our paths takes faith and perseverance. I do believe that our Lovers has a better view point and can see the ramifications of the different paths that we could take. They can point the way but we do the choosing. I want the best path so I am committed to the path that she laid out for me. I believe that she has my best interest at heart
I hope this helps.
"I want to take the reins and drive when I have not a clue where I am going." Could not have phrased it better :-/
DeleteYou maybe have no idea how much it DOES help to know that someone else is going through similar struggles right now.
I do trust Penelope, I know She has my, Our, best interests at heart. I also know She will (must?) also give me enough rope to hang myself if I choose. Darn free will ;-)
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me, it really helps me feel no so alone.
Stephen, thanks. I am glad to be of help to others. I have found out that the more I give of myself, the more I am blessed in the process. It seems that when I write and share that I am blessed also. Thanks for giving me the opportunity.
ReplyDeletePatrick:
DeleteI am so glad we encountered each other through this spirit companion connection. Chatting with you has been a quite literal godsend for me in all this; helping me to keep things in perspective, recall why I'm doing all this, and just keep going.
As far as I'm concerned, you and Adora deserve all blessings for the wisdom and kindness you've shown me.
Thank you.