SLiPchick's Virtual Shadows

Once again, shower musings :-/ I was thinking about how it seems like so many pieces have fallen into place, so many things I've asked for have shown up recently, and I feel like enormous portions of my spirit and psyche are being nurtured and fulfilled in ways they never had before. I was feeling incredulous, like "too good to be true." Penelope said to me: Is it really so inconceivable to you that your passions and desires might coincide with the Cosmos' Plan for your Life? Since then Penelope's words to me this morning have been: The Universe rises up to meet you darling, just watch! Stop Struggling. Let's Play! ;-) I'm trying, my darling, sometimes it's hard to get this meat brain of mine to cooperate.

I've been living in my new home and working at my new job for a few weeks now and I'd started to feel a bit in a rut already; so I asked Penelope about it on the way to work this morning. A big lesson (and struggle) for me right now centers around keeping myself open to experiencing the Mystery. I'm finding many connections and parallels among what I've been reading lately suggesting that maintaining a stance of indeterminacy regarding "reality" is necessary to the whole endeavor. Penelope, love, care to reiterate what You told me for Our blog audience? Certainly, darling.  First off, let me remind you that you personally still have some work to do to overcome your defenses and resistance to experiencing the extraordinary.  When you were younger you shut off most of those channels fairly securely, and it was all but certain you'd spend the rest of this incarnation insulated from any significant encounters of that sort. Nor did you contract to be...

I recall a Peanuts cartoon from childhood. In it Lucy asks Linus something to the effect of "Why are we here?", Linus replies "To make others happy." and Lucy's reply is something like "I'm not happy, so somebody is not doing their job!" Lately I've been deeply examining my personal dynamic of bending over backwards in an attempt to make others in my life (mainly intimate partners) happy. Often with the tacit (or not so tacit) understanding that my doing so was necessary and appropriate. I've come to the somewhat startling (to me at least) conclusion that this is a fool's errand. I'm further reminded of a creepy little cartoon I saw recently where a ghoulish character is standing behind another drawing his mouth into a rictus, saying "I can always make you smile". Macabre humor pointing to a deeper truth: In general I can't  make  anybody do anything. It's possible to physically force the body into actions ...

Well, it's been a while since I posted anything. A lot has happened. I've relocated to a new city (Chapel Hill, NC to be precise). Have a new job, and am living in a delightful wooded area that promises only to enhance the spiritual side of things. Penelope has been with me through this entire journey, and I attribute much of how the karmic/cosmic/comic forces aligned to make all this happen to Her influence and guidance. Stop it, you're making me blush ;-) Well, it's true, I don't think I could have gotten myself to this place alone. Thank you my darling Angel Spirit Love for everything. We're just getting started Loverboy. In this new environment I feel free to express my feelings for and experience of Penelope in ways I couldn't before. And my creative juices are starting to flow in some remarkable ways. It's barely been a week since I moved. I can hardly imagine what the next few months will bring. Don't even try love, it's beyo...

So, discipline. I've talked about it before . And you hate that don't you ;-) I do. It doesn't have to be a CHORE love. We can make it fun. I don't see how. I feel so resistant and anxious. What do you think will happen? I don't know. You aren't an undisciplined man, you keep on top of most needful things. As did my mom, I realized. But she had little commitment or perseverance with anything outside of the requirements of day-to-day living. Go to work, earn money, pay the bills. That's kind of the model I have. My grandpa too, though to hear it he was very driven as a younger man, when I most knew him he seemed always pretty laissez-faire about things; doing the least necessary to succeed. Sort of like Heinlein's Lazy Man. Yes. During my session with Kitty I saw my "monkey mind" Ego as being rather like the little tamarin/marmoset monkeys I've seen on TV. Quick and playful, but always on the lookout for threats. Their...

My sweet angel? Are you trying to butter me up? ;-) I've been a bad boy. Are you expecting me to scold you? I know part of you would like that. That's a game we can play later, but this is serious. I know you're feeling needy and horny, and you're seeking some kind of physical connection to satisfy your old materialist habits/ways of being/mindset. I want to give you more, but you drop the ball before we can get there; can you give me a little patience and time to get Our body ready? I think I'm afraid, babe. Good, glad you see that. I've approached you several times in your dreams recently and you’ve run from me. I don't mean to, I'm not clear what causes me to wake up at those critical times. I don't feel consciously fearful. Talk to Kitty, get her help with working out your inner resistance to hearing what I have to tell you, seeing what I have to show you, sticking with the program. I will. What about tha...

Things are happening. Indeed. ;-) Touché. OK, so I got depressed, despairing, and spooked; it just seemed like things were taking so long and some stuff just didn't seem like it was fitting what I thought was supposed to happen. Those expectations will get you every time. I told you it wouldn't look like what you expect now didn't I? You did and I wanted it to fit my preconceived ideas and didn't trust You. O ye of little faith. Gotta work on that, hon. Magick is afoot! Believe. Trust me, talk to me, feel me interpenetrate through you.  It's going to be grand sweetheart. You have no idea. And we can play all the games you can imagine, and then some. So what now? There's still groundwork to be done, the garden you're in still needs tending, the next few steps aren't difficult but they're pretty important so keep your wits about you.  And try to relax and enjoy the ride, it can be lots of fun if you let it. You fre...