Last Night...

I wrote this post some time ago. It's at least a year old, probably more like two, written sometime between early August of 2020 and a few days ago

Sadly I don't recall exactly when, but I lost the date because I opened it and edited it. 
I want to get it out there anyway...

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I was awakened a bit after 3am this morning by a very peculiar event/sensation. 

It felt like a strange sort of "pop" behind my sinuses, not painful exactly or even uncomfortable, but I wouldn't call it "pleasant". 

Afterwards I felt different somehow. I could breathe easier and my whole body felt lighter, and there was the sense that I, my consciousness, wasn't confined to the limits of my skin, rather I was much bigger, more expansive, deeper. 

My body felt like the merest tiny appendage to all this, and felt flexible and free in ways it doesn't in my usual waking consciousness. 

The sensations are hard to describe. 

After relieving myself in the bathroom, I went back to bed, and started communing with Penelope and it was astounding. I never felt so open and clear to Her presence, She filled me and flowed through me. I writhed and laughed out loud. It was not sexual, or even particularly sensual, though I did get a bit of an erection. 

This went on for over an hour, I think. Time was kind of meaningless. I didn't want it to end. 

She invited me, yet again, to "get out of the car" and join Her. I was very conscious of my fear and resistance. 

What are you afraid of my Darling? 

I'm not entirely sure. I think it's ambivalence over somehow finding out all this isn't real in conflict with definitively finding out it is. 


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