Masculine and Feminine - Pt.1
I'm unpacking a lot here. Some if it's very personal and not particularly related to the more spiritual stuff I've been addressing elsewhere on the blog, other than that it's a deep exploration who I am.
There's a lot of frank talk about sex and gender, consider yourself warned.
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I've been feeling strangely conflicted lately over gender and roles and power and desire.
I've mentioned elsewhere on the blog about my deep ambivalence regarding traditional masculine roles and my personal discomfort with my own masculinity in many respects.
I've often felt an impulse to present myself in a more flamboyant fashion (e.g. dressing more colorfully/stylishly), but shied away from it, fearing being judged "deviant" or being perceived as a gay man.
Not that I think there's anything wrong with being gay, it's just that I'm not. At least, I've spent my adolescence and most of my adult life assuming/believing I'm a heterosexual male.
I'm profoundly attracted to women, I adore the company of women, women's bodies turn me on sensually/sexually, I love breasts and I'm crazy about vaginas; I could play with tits and eat pussy all day.
Conversely, I don't find men's bodies for the most part particularly appealing. And masculine attitudes and personality traits are generally erotic turn offs for me.
Given how appealing I find women, traditional cock-in-pussy thrusting is not all that interesting to me. Not to say I don't like having my penis enveloped in those slippery velvet folds; but thrusting and pounding away just seems like a lot of effort for little gain generally.
I'm not saying hot and heavy isn't good sometimes; but I'm not in the big (testosterone fueled?) hurry just to "get my rocks off" so much that seems to drive men as a rule. No "wham-bam-thank you ma'am" for me.
I'd much rather sit or gently rock with me inside her, touching, holding playing with her, talking, laughing (my favorite position: Gemini Position). At some point there's often a rush and ejaculation, but not necessarily; and it's not really that important.
In my more private musings, I've often thought of myself as a Lesbian in a man's body; the trouble being precisely my body: I obviously don't have the body to be a true Lesbian. Which is where things get to be a little convoluted.
More to come...
There's a lot of frank talk about sex and gender, consider yourself warned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've been feeling strangely conflicted lately over gender and roles and power and desire.
I've mentioned elsewhere on the blog about my deep ambivalence regarding traditional masculine roles and my personal discomfort with my own masculinity in many respects.
I've often felt an impulse to present myself in a more flamboyant fashion (e.g. dressing more colorfully/stylishly), but shied away from it, fearing being judged "deviant" or being perceived as a gay man.
Not that I think there's anything wrong with being gay, it's just that I'm not. At least, I've spent my adolescence and most of my adult life assuming/believing I'm a heterosexual male.
I'm profoundly attracted to women, I adore the company of women, women's bodies turn me on sensually/sexually, I love breasts and I'm crazy about vaginas; I could play with tits and eat pussy all day.
Conversely, I don't find men's bodies for the most part particularly appealing. And masculine attitudes and personality traits are generally erotic turn offs for me.
Given how appealing I find women, traditional cock-in-pussy thrusting is not all that interesting to me. Not to say I don't like having my penis enveloped in those slippery velvet folds; but thrusting and pounding away just seems like a lot of effort for little gain generally.
I'm not saying hot and heavy isn't good sometimes; but I'm not in the big (testosterone fueled?) hurry just to "get my rocks off" so much that seems to drive men as a rule. No "wham-bam-thank you ma'am" for me.
I'd much rather sit or gently rock with me inside her, touching, holding playing with her, talking, laughing (my favorite position: Gemini Position). At some point there's often a rush and ejaculation, but not necessarily; and it's not really that important.
In my more private musings, I've often thought of myself as a Lesbian in a man's body; the trouble being precisely my body: I obviously don't have the body to be a true Lesbian. Which is where things get to be a little convoluted.
More to come...
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