Masculine and Feminine - Pt.2

I'm unpacking a lot here. Some if it's very personal and not particularly related to the more spiritual stuff I've been addressing elsewhere on the blog, other than that it's a deep exploration who I am.

There's a lot of frank talk about sex and gender, consider yourself warned.

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I've mentioned elsewhere my submissive impulses. Part of me would relish being dominated by a strong, determined, sexy woman.

I recently recognized in myself that this impulse doesn't necessarily match a lot of the porn I see. I'm not interested in being humiliated or cuckolded as seems to be pretty common. While I want someone strict, who will lay down the law and keep me in line, I also want to be treasured and appreciated. I'm not worthless, just owned, like a favored pet.

This fits with a wanting to be loved, appreciated for myself. If a strong, assertive, powerful woman chooses me (not an "alpha" male by any stretch) then there must be something else I'm bringing to the table for her.

In my last serious relationship, I had to get over my sense that being good in bed was one of my few real selling points (Priscilla wasn't much interested in that per se), so I had to find other ways to feel worthy.

Bringing home the bacon was one, but in the end that alone wasn't enough. The intellectual interests we shared (politics, travel, animal rights) didn't make up the difference for the distance between us emotionally, sexually, psychologically, spiritually in so many other areas.

On a somewhat related note: I have a fetish for older women. I appreciate a woman with experience, who knows her own body and what she likes and can communicate that to me; they're also more likely to know their way around a man's body as well.

I appreciate experienced women generally because of all that, and enjoy somebody who exhibits a level of interest, creativity, playfulness, and enthusiasm for the activity with me.

Conversely I'm baffled by the fascination with virgins some men seem to have, they're likely to be timid and clueless. Or perhaps that's the point: a virgin has nothing to compare against and won't judge a guy for being a lousy lover? Are guys that insecure?





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