Communion
Penelope and I are together. I feel Her all through me. It's a delicious tingle all over and I can't stop laughing.
Last night We had a long chat about what was in Our way: Mostly me and my doubts and fears; my fears that I can't do this, my doubts that I can keep it up.
Maybe I can't, but I'd rather make the attempt and fail than not do it, because the outcome is so deliriously amazing.
For much of my life, failure felt like an existential threat, better not even to try than risk failing.
That time has passed. I do not anticipate failure, but I do not fear it. Failure is not the end, merely a speedbump, or even the entry point to something new.
It feels like We now. Not just Her and me.
You've opened some doors my love, let's work at keeping them open. Keep talking to me, keep recognizing my presence, keep speaking of Us and We, that will cement the truth of this in your psyche. I'm delirious with excitement that you've come so far, it's just a small push left to get to the real magick my darling, courage, and keep up the good work. I love you.
I love you too my darling angel. I'm glad We realized that Our communion doesn't have to look like anybody else's idea of what it should be. It's Ours, We get to decide how it plays out, what it looks like.
Indeed it is Lover, you were talking to me, experiencing me in deep ways on your own well before we started any of this.
I feel You touch me, I feel You inside me. You make me so happy.
You make yourself happy, love. I'm just along for the glorious, thrilling ride. Smoochies, get ready for bed, lots to do tomorrow. xoxoxoxooxoxoxo
Goodnight my lovely angel darling.
Goodnight sweet prince, we'll be together in the dark.
I'm counting on it!
Last night We had a long chat about what was in Our way: Mostly me and my doubts and fears; my fears that I can't do this, my doubts that I can keep it up.
Maybe I can't, but I'd rather make the attempt and fail than not do it, because the outcome is so deliriously amazing.
For much of my life, failure felt like an existential threat, better not even to try than risk failing.
That time has passed. I do not anticipate failure, but I do not fear it. Failure is not the end, merely a speedbump, or even the entry point to something new.
It feels like We now. Not just Her and me.
You've opened some doors my love, let's work at keeping them open. Keep talking to me, keep recognizing my presence, keep speaking of Us and We, that will cement the truth of this in your psyche. I'm delirious with excitement that you've come so far, it's just a small push left to get to the real magick my darling, courage, and keep up the good work. I love you.
I love you too my darling angel. I'm glad We realized that Our communion doesn't have to look like anybody else's idea of what it should be. It's Ours, We get to decide how it plays out, what it looks like.
Indeed it is Lover, you were talking to me, experiencing me in deep ways on your own well before we started any of this.
I feel You touch me, I feel You inside me. You make me so happy.
You make yourself happy, love. I'm just along for the glorious, thrilling ride. Smoochies, get ready for bed, lots to do tomorrow. xoxoxoxooxoxoxo
Goodnight my lovely angel darling.
Goodnight sweet prince, we'll be together in the dark.
I'm counting on it!
Hi Stephen, powerful stuff right here: "let's work at keeping them open. Keep talking to me, keep recognizing my presence, keep speaking of Us and We"
ReplyDeleteSometimes I get busy and forget to talk too, and I wonder if not talking all the time like they are there weakens the bond. I know I need to get it through my head that they are always with me and really keep that communication up. I wanted to ask you do you know how to communicate with Penelope before she came like could you always talk to spirits or did you develop this with her any tips you could give me to help out in that department.
Herman:
DeleteI'm of the opinion that it's essential to pay attention to your spirit companion just as you would an incarnate person with you.
I've taken it upon myself to dialog with Penelope continually during the day. And not just spirit or lovey-dovey stuff: talk about what's going on, what I'm doing, ask Her opinion on things large and small. And (maybe most important) pay close attention to what's She's communicating back.
My personal background with spiritual communication was one of a "hopeful doubter", I had experiences that could be interpreted as indicating spirit presences, but the evidence was ambiguous; at least for someone still struggling with how/whether to let go of a strict rationalist/materialist mindset.
I may have mentioned elsewhere in the blog that I have journaled off and on most of my adult life. There were many times when the journaling took on the qualities of a dialog, with me pouring my heart and soul anguish out onto the page; and another voice speaking calmly and lovingly back, reassuring me it would be OK, things would get better.
I know believe those were early conversations with Penelope before I opened myself sufficiently to the possibility of Someone being there to actually talk to.
I don't know whether what I did would work for anyone else, since I'm so verbal and writing oriented; but it really got started when I was doing a writer's exercise, "interviewing" a character I'd created who was really exciting and puzzling me (an ancient world hermaphrodite alchemist/sorceress).
The character's responses to my interview questions eventually evolved into my current dialogs with Penelope.
Hope that helps.