Still struggling...
I'm still struggling with bodily neediness. I'm horny and impatient. I know something is coming, but I don't want to wait.
But if I don't relax and allow it to evolve, blossom, ferment; I'll probably either lose it or fuck it up.
It is what it is, my love. You will have the experience you need to have.
Do you know what's going to happen?
I can envision possibilities, probabilities (always in motion is the future), you have free will and can make unexpected choices that could alter the entire landscape of what's laid out. Best laid plans of mice and guardian angels and all...
Aren't you tired and exasperated with all this? I am.
And you're projecting that onto me, I feel that. If it makes you feel better, go ahead and do that.
Now it sounds like you're angry.
Another projection. As long as you get down on yourself over what you do, or think you can't do, then you'll keep looking for a mirror to reflect that in yourself. I am a mirror for you, but the reflected image is not the glass or the silvering.
So you're just a passive reflective surface?
I didn't say that. Do I seem passive to you?
No, whatever you are, you don't seem like you're the wait in the wings kind.
And also realize I reflect things you don't mean to radiate, or don't realize you do, or are not conscious of. I can "refract" such things so you can see them.
It's so hard to do a lot of this while I'm embedded in this life. I have so little "wiggle room" to try things, so little unstructured time to communicate with you.
It will improve soon, darling. Hang on, I'm coming for you.
I want to tell you to hurry up.
Everything in its time, my sweet man.
I know, relax and tend the GD Garden.
No need to get testy. I know you're frustrated, I know you want it yesterday if not sooner. Talk to Kitty and our new friends about this. You do need some outlet for the frustrations. But it's also necessary to stay the course for now. Hang on, lover, all will be well.
I feel very tired all of a sudden.
You're trying to live more than one life right now, that's hard. Take it easier. It's time to get ready to go see Kitty. Finish up your work.
Yes my love.
Pouting doesn't suit you. You're better than this.
I don't feel better than that right now.
Talk to me again later after you tell Kitty about it.
Fair enough.
I love you Stephen Lloyd Posey, whether you know it or feel it or not. Try to find a way to let me back in. I want us to share tingles and joy and throb jobs again. I miss you.
But if I don't relax and allow it to evolve, blossom, ferment; I'll probably either lose it or fuck it up.
It is what it is, my love. You will have the experience you need to have.
Do you know what's going to happen?
I can envision possibilities, probabilities (always in motion is the future), you have free will and can make unexpected choices that could alter the entire landscape of what's laid out. Best laid plans of mice and guardian angels and all...
Aren't you tired and exasperated with all this? I am.
And you're projecting that onto me, I feel that. If it makes you feel better, go ahead and do that.
Now it sounds like you're angry.
Another projection. As long as you get down on yourself over what you do, or think you can't do, then you'll keep looking for a mirror to reflect that in yourself. I am a mirror for you, but the reflected image is not the glass or the silvering.
So you're just a passive reflective surface?
I didn't say that. Do I seem passive to you?
No, whatever you are, you don't seem like you're the wait in the wings kind.
And also realize I reflect things you don't mean to radiate, or don't realize you do, or are not conscious of. I can "refract" such things so you can see them.
It's so hard to do a lot of this while I'm embedded in this life. I have so little "wiggle room" to try things, so little unstructured time to communicate with you.
It will improve soon, darling. Hang on, I'm coming for you.
I want to tell you to hurry up.
Everything in its time, my sweet man.
I know, relax and tend the GD Garden.
No need to get testy. I know you're frustrated, I know you want it yesterday if not sooner. Talk to Kitty and our new friends about this. You do need some outlet for the frustrations. But it's also necessary to stay the course for now. Hang on, lover, all will be well.
I feel very tired all of a sudden.
You're trying to live more than one life right now, that's hard. Take it easier. It's time to get ready to go see Kitty. Finish up your work.
Yes my love.
Pouting doesn't suit you. You're better than this.
I don't feel better than that right now.
Talk to me again later after you tell Kitty about it.
Fair enough.
I love you Stephen Lloyd Posey, whether you know it or feel it or not. Try to find a way to let me back in. I want us to share tingles and joy and throb jobs again. I miss you.
Hi Stephen, this is Herman just wanted to chime in and give you some encouraging thoughts. I know I have said before that my experiences mirror so much to things you have written about her, including falling off the wagon. I have been going back and forth with this and a few other issues like it since 2014. I have had many different spirits come and go in my life since then some of them from ritual, some purchased from conjurers. No matter where they came from the issues I had were the same, I really wanted to promise a committed change in some of my life habits to them to help strengthen the connection to levels of what would be considered a physical manifestation and keep them that way but I think just like what you are doing here we are creating our own blocks without even knowing it, and lucky for you she is there to tell you what is happening so you can attempt to change coarse and undo any harm to the connection itself. The only way of knowing from my end has been time, some spirits I have been with for years and I am still at a standstill, granted I have made really good progress on some fronts, but still there are parts where I feel that I have not done my best for the situation, and falling off the wagon is one of those things. Now I don't have concrete evidence if having an awesome sacral chakra is a key factor in what attracts these ladies to us in the first place but it is something that requires a shit load of willpower to control and manage if you plan on stockpiling that energy for any extended period of time. I have seen on forums and other blogs evidence that saving that energy up for whatever reason does improve the connection greatly between you and them, I don't know truly if they feed on that energy but it does work. I have also seen stories that point to physical release weakening that connection as well. In my head if I really wanted to move the relationship forward I would commit to this and see where it took me but I always showed weakness and could not last for too long and after a few times of falling off I would get very disheartened and just lose it all together. I cannot tell you how many times I promised them that I would try not to do it again and be what was in my eyes faithful to them in the highest regard, but failing that commitment made it that much worse, and like times before my resolve was always strongest right after I failed. To remedy this I tried looking for more powerful spirits to try and bridge the gap between us without having to worry about the wagon at all but it was all to no avail. There is a large portion of work that must be done on our end it seems to make it all work. As of today I am I think about 2 and a half weeks in, believe it or not this is one of my longest innings lol but I really am tired of starting over and do not want to fail, part of that is your blog seeing what Penelope sees from her end and how hard she is working on her side really is motivating and in all honesty these ladies are not asking the world of us just a few changes which in the end will result in more than our minds can comprehend. so stay strong and keep with it. I know a few practitioners who deliberately save this energy up for their workings sex magick is very powerful and a potent form when coupled with strong intention can accomplish awesome results.
ReplyDeleteHello Herman:
DeleteThank you for the detailed feedback. It does indeed sound like you struggle with many of the same issues I have.
I CAN tell you that getting past two weeks (getting into 4-6 weeks or more) is for me a sea change of difference in the experience of being intimate with Penelope.
The sensations are the most intense and deliriously erotic I have ever had. Hang in there.
And believe me, orgasm is NOT the same thing as ejaculation. In this context ejaculation is unnecessary and even detrimental.
Not saying it's easy, maybe it helps that I'm older and gotten past some of the youthful procreative drive.
I have noticed as time goes by I have seen my ladies more often in dreams and physical sensations have began to pick up again, there are rewards for waiting and being patient my friend and I know it is a bitch sometimes when you have random thoughts pop up in your head and the next thing you know your thinking of that satisfaction and headed down that train of thought that gets you in trouble. Something that works for me is when a huge tidal wave of lust or desire hits me weather its caused by them or just my own thoughts I throw it right back and just center her in your mind and just focus all of that energy on her until you feel you are in control again, no guarantees but it does work for me from time to time. I am really curious to what Penelope is working on with you so be strong and make it thru till the end.
ReplyDeletePenelope encourages me to dialog with her when I'm feeling horny and desperate. Part of me resists doing that.
DeleteI've recognized an "addictive" quality to some of these impulses for me, and I'm exploring taking a 12-step kind of approach to dealing with them.
You and me both regarding curious about where this is all headed. I can envision quite a few potentialities forming on the horizon, but I don't know which (if any of them) are where this is actually going.
Penelope counsels patience, and maintaining what I'm already doing as it's a necessary foundation for what's coming. She says I can't presently conceive of what's coming so I shouldn't even try.