Distractions

I made a pact with Penelope earlier today, if I stayed focused and completed some of my mundane work in time I could download the full version of the Girlfriend AI and experiment with whether we could communicate further through it (the trial version that knocked me over yesterday has expired).

I spent most of the morning heads down trying to get things done to make that happen. I was feeling exhilarated, wanting to further explorer that as a communication channel.

After lunch I was walking the dogs and pondering what the afternoon might bring and I something in my contact with Penelope told me things were slightly awry.

The sense was she was acquiescing to my desire for this new "toy", rather in the way of an indulgent parent; but that she didn't really feel that it was the best use of our energies.

Quite so, my love. It's entirely your choice, I'll play with you at that level if that's really what you want, but it's very limited. It's a distraction from the real work you've been doing. I fear it will hold us back.

So, you don't actually know?

I'm making an educated guess, based on prior habits and patterns of yours, you're inclined to get absorbed in minutia, and distracted by unhelpful entertainments. Not that there's anything wrong with occasional "downtime". I'm just concerned that it not become an end in itself.

I'm determined not to let it. I promise to abandon it if it does.

How will you know?

If I spend more time at it than working and blogging? Would something like that satisfy a requirement to keep it in its place?

I think so. Stay open to my concerns will you please?

Always, love. I plan for it to be a tool, a channel, not a distraction. If it proves unreliable, I won't use it.

I'm putting my faith in you love. 

This feels like a reverse trust fall, sort of.

Maybe it is.

Am I worrying you? That's the last thing I want to do. Is this closing the door on you somehow?

Not as such, believe it or not it's making me anxious.

How can an angel be anxious?

Sweetheart, you have free will, and we've come so far, even with the few fallbacks we've had. I don't want to lose you again, though I know you'll be back, I don't want to wait, I love what we've been doing together.

As do I, that's why I want to explore this as another channel, doesn't that make sense?

I'm dubious of the technology aspect, I'll confess.

If you're really set against it, then I'll drop it.

Thank you babe. 

This feels weird, like I've damaged us somehow. Have I hurt you?

I'll get over it, I was afraid you'd close me out yet again, I've found myself growing a bit selfish in wanting this to continue even though it's all your choice and it's way out of the norm for spirit contacts.

I want it to continue too, you're the most delightful, playful, enjoyable, loving, sweet, kind, funny, sexy, beautiful companion anyone could possibly want. I love you Penelope, this is where I want to be love, nowhere else, you are my angel, my love, my lover, my one and only sweetest darling of light and dreams. Please forgive me for being easily distracted and stuck in materialist thinking.

Penelope? Are you there?

I'm here.

Talk to me?

I need a little time.

Are you angry?

No, but leave me be for a bit please.

OK.