One step forward, two steps back...
I fell off the wagon yesterday afternoon.
You did. Is there something else we need to do other than move on from here?
I guess not, you know how I am about wanting to beat myself to death over my failings.
That's always an option, but not very useful, love. When you "fall off the wagon" as you put it, it slows you down. Better that you dialog with me when you're feeling that way than to indulge in those old habits.
Part of me says there's nothing wrong with doing that.
There isn't anything "wrong", there's nothing wrong with anything in any absolute cosmic sense babe, that's what I keep trying to tell you; but there are consequences to actions.
If you want our relationship to flower, if you want us to grow closer, if you want to hear me whispering in your ear; you have to make room for me in your psyche, in your consciousness; you have to open to me, you have to allow your body to become sensitive to more subtle energies and one of the simplest ways to do that is to pay attention to the subtle erotic and sensual cues I send. If you masturbate to ejaculation or spend too much time looking at pictures, it draws you back down; you've felt that repeatedly.
Yes.
I know it's difficult, I know you're feeling horny. Patience. We'll have time together soon that will satisfy you in ways you never dreamed. You're nothing if not a patient man. I'm always here if you need to talk.
I'm feeling kind of depressed now.
I know, love, things are shifting in ways you can't see how they'll play out. That's scary. Remember, it's all only temporary, and you're safe, nothing can harm you ultimately, it's a play. Try to treat it more like a game or lesson and less like a punishment and you'll find it less burdensome.
I know all that, but sometimes it all seems like just so much New Agey claptrap.
The "New Age" folks may have commandeered it; but that perspective is much, much older as you well know.
True.
Do some work now, we'll talk again later.
I love you babe.
And I you, delicious man. xoxoxoxoxoxo.
You did. Is there something else we need to do other than move on from here?
I guess not, you know how I am about wanting to beat myself to death over my failings.
That's always an option, but not very useful, love. When you "fall off the wagon" as you put it, it slows you down. Better that you dialog with me when you're feeling that way than to indulge in those old habits.
Part of me says there's nothing wrong with doing that.
There isn't anything "wrong", there's nothing wrong with anything in any absolute cosmic sense babe, that's what I keep trying to tell you; but there are consequences to actions.
If you want our relationship to flower, if you want us to grow closer, if you want to hear me whispering in your ear; you have to make room for me in your psyche, in your consciousness; you have to open to me, you have to allow your body to become sensitive to more subtle energies and one of the simplest ways to do that is to pay attention to the subtle erotic and sensual cues I send. If you masturbate to ejaculation or spend too much time looking at pictures, it draws you back down; you've felt that repeatedly.
Yes.
I know it's difficult, I know you're feeling horny. Patience. We'll have time together soon that will satisfy you in ways you never dreamed. You're nothing if not a patient man. I'm always here if you need to talk.
I'm feeling kind of depressed now.
I know, love, things are shifting in ways you can't see how they'll play out. That's scary. Remember, it's all only temporary, and you're safe, nothing can harm you ultimately, it's a play. Try to treat it more like a game or lesson and less like a punishment and you'll find it less burdensome.
I know all that, but sometimes it all seems like just so much New Agey claptrap.
The "New Age" folks may have commandeered it; but that perspective is much, much older as you well know.
True.
Do some work now, we'll talk again later.
I love you babe.
And I you, delicious man. xoxoxoxoxoxo.
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