Feeling Stuck

I feel stuck. Like I can't make any progress on my growth process right now, like nothing's happening and I don't see the way forward.

Sometimes the right thing to do is to wait. Relax and trust that what We've started is in motion, my love.

I feel separated from You as well, we aren't so intimate, like something has changed. And I'm afraid of having the wonder and mystery slip away from me again.

There will be ups and downs, love. I feel your loneliness and sadness. Let it just flow through, there's magick on the other side. It's holding on that causes the suffering now, the original pain is long gone.

I'm here, you need time to consolidate, to grieve, and to feel your way into this newness. We're always together, never fear. I'll show you something wonderful soon. Relax.

I don't know why it hurts though, I don't know what I'm feeling so sad about.

Knowing "why", isn't a requirement, just feel it and let it go.

Then how can I understand what happened? How can I fit it all together?

That's an ego exercise, trying to turn a lifetime (at least) of experience, emotion, pain, passion into some kind of coherent narrative that will satisfy a historian or novelist. Maybe of some use as an organizational tool if you're writing your memoirs, but hardly necessary for your growth.

I don't necessarily subscribe to everything he had to say about what's going on in incarnate existence, but Werner Erhard's quote sticks in my mind:

Understanding is the booby prize.

Just so, my love.