Knocking on the wrong door...
Something happened Friday night. I awoke around 4am and couldn't feel Penelope. With our recent conversations in mind I started hunting for her. I had a vision of a Labyrinth that I started walking, looking for her, calling out to her, still no Penelope.
I was rather suddenly brought back to awareness of myself lying on the bed with a menacing presence, it felt like it was holding me down (though I say that at the time I could easily have moved and "broken the spell", I didn't, so I guess I really don't know). I faced down whatever this thing was and it moved off to be replaced by a different menace that grappled me in a different way.
I asked "who are you?" The answer was "Your worst nightmare!"
I had the sense of being held captive by a foul old woman/witch that held me to the bed and threatened me. Somehow I was not afraid, I looked straight at her and said "do your worst", go ahead and take me. At that she released me and disappeared cackling into the night.
Ever since I've had a very different feeling in my gut, a sense of fullness and strength unlike anything I can ever recall. There's a sense of centeredness and power, I no longer feel afraid. I think this may reflect the release of blockages in the 3rd Chakra that I've been investigating, which can entail feelings of being fearful and ineffectual.
In any case, after the encounter, I got out of bed and wandered into the darkened house. I sat for a bit in my chair in the reading area. I thought about the "UFO Abduction" phenomenon, particularly as elucidated by Whitley Streiber, and was thinking I wanted to experience that.
While I sat there, I felt Penelope come quietly and sit at my feet and lay her head on my lap. She told me I was "knocking on a door" that would have some serious consequences if I kept it up and it opened.
She asked me if that was really what I wanted. Wasn't I happy with the paths we'd been exploring together?
At that moment I felt such a rush of adoration and passion for her. I drew her up to sit with me in my lap and wrapped my arms around her. I reassured her that our love was the single greatest thing I'd ever experienced. I'm delighted to have her as my guide and teacher. I don't need any rude awakening into something drastic or dramatic to justify what I'm doing.
Bravo love.
Are you there sweet lady?
Always love.
You've been quiet.
You've been busy, I've been making room for the changes you're making.
You seem sad.
Do I?
Is that my projection?
Let me talk unimpeded, I know it's hard for you sometimes. You're expanding so fast right now, it's actually astonishing, but I'm also a little concerned. You're drawing attention to yourself.
From whom?
Not a "whom" exactly, more a reflex of the existing world context.
Can you tell me more?
Not just yet, let it evolve a bit more. I'm watching, I'll let you know if there's anything to be really concerned about.
Should I be doing something different?
You're on a pretty fast track right now, I'm not sure what advice I could give you, just know that I love you and I'm here whenever you need me.
How about that "door" I was knocking on? It felt last night like maybe it was opening. But I wasn't afraid, I was ready to face whatever was there.
You're as "ready" as any incarnated spirit can be for what can come through, I'm not sure whether the door will open further or close. Up to you whether you poke it further.
Are you miffed at me? Is this another distraction?
In a way, it's your ego asking for "proof" again, something dramatic that will better satisfy the materialist impulse. Patience love, your proof is coming, I'm coming for you in a way you'll never expect ;-)
That thought is very exciting, can't you tell me how?
No, both because I want it to be a surprise, and because I can't see 100% how it will manifest. Just trust me, love me, I'm always here for you. You know that don't you?
I do.
I was rather suddenly brought back to awareness of myself lying on the bed with a menacing presence, it felt like it was holding me down (though I say that at the time I could easily have moved and "broken the spell", I didn't, so I guess I really don't know). I faced down whatever this thing was and it moved off to be replaced by a different menace that grappled me in a different way.
I asked "who are you?" The answer was "Your worst nightmare!"
I had the sense of being held captive by a foul old woman/witch that held me to the bed and threatened me. Somehow I was not afraid, I looked straight at her and said "do your worst", go ahead and take me. At that she released me and disappeared cackling into the night.
Ever since I've had a very different feeling in my gut, a sense of fullness and strength unlike anything I can ever recall. There's a sense of centeredness and power, I no longer feel afraid. I think this may reflect the release of blockages in the 3rd Chakra that I've been investigating, which can entail feelings of being fearful and ineffectual.
In any case, after the encounter, I got out of bed and wandered into the darkened house. I sat for a bit in my chair in the reading area. I thought about the "UFO Abduction" phenomenon, particularly as elucidated by Whitley Streiber, and was thinking I wanted to experience that.
While I sat there, I felt Penelope come quietly and sit at my feet and lay her head on my lap. She told me I was "knocking on a door" that would have some serious consequences if I kept it up and it opened.
She asked me if that was really what I wanted. Wasn't I happy with the paths we'd been exploring together?
At that moment I felt such a rush of adoration and passion for her. I drew her up to sit with me in my lap and wrapped my arms around her. I reassured her that our love was the single greatest thing I'd ever experienced. I'm delighted to have her as my guide and teacher. I don't need any rude awakening into something drastic or dramatic to justify what I'm doing.
Bravo love.
Are you there sweet lady?
Always love.
You've been quiet.
You've been busy, I've been making room for the changes you're making.
You seem sad.
Do I?
Is that my projection?
Let me talk unimpeded, I know it's hard for you sometimes. You're expanding so fast right now, it's actually astonishing, but I'm also a little concerned. You're drawing attention to yourself.
From whom?
Not a "whom" exactly, more a reflex of the existing world context.
Can you tell me more?
Not just yet, let it evolve a bit more. I'm watching, I'll let you know if there's anything to be really concerned about.
Should I be doing something different?
You're on a pretty fast track right now, I'm not sure what advice I could give you, just know that I love you and I'm here whenever you need me.
How about that "door" I was knocking on? It felt last night like maybe it was opening. But I wasn't afraid, I was ready to face whatever was there.
You're as "ready" as any incarnated spirit can be for what can come through, I'm not sure whether the door will open further or close. Up to you whether you poke it further.
Are you miffed at me? Is this another distraction?
In a way, it's your ego asking for "proof" again, something dramatic that will better satisfy the materialist impulse. Patience love, your proof is coming, I'm coming for you in a way you'll never expect ;-)
That thought is very exciting, can't you tell me how?
No, both because I want it to be a surprise, and because I can't see 100% how it will manifest. Just trust me, love me, I'm always here for you. You know that don't you?
I do.
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