I didn't come here to fit in...
A recurring theme in my therapy sessions with Kitty is a recognition that as she phrased it: I didn't come here to fit in.
What exactly that means, how it plays out in my life, I'm still discovering, is still evolving.
This is not to say that I haven't devoted a lot of energy into creating a life well entrenched in a kind of dull conventionality.
This has allowed me to pretend, for most of my life, that rigid scientistic materialism is True™; despite a fair spate of evidence I had to the contrary.
Penelope, can you help me here?
For some people finding their path takes time love. It was entirely possible that you'd not get to this point in this incarnation, the odds were somewhat against it. I'm deliciously astounded at how far you've come in so short a time. I realize it's not always comfortable for you, I'll try to make things as smooth as possible, but I can't promise it won't ever be a struggle or require work.
I'd expect no less, I've been kind of just "marking time", rather like the Klaatu song:
I race the clock to the end of the day
The paycheck in my pocket makes me feel okay
But was it worth the grind?
Just to keep from falling behind
I stand here in the queue behind a foul cigar
My face discreetly buried in a book on Mars
Humdrum
And I'm waiting on the pier 'til Charon comes
-- A Routine Day, Klaatu
Darling I know you've felt that lonely waiting for death, thinking there was really nothing worth staying here for, and expecting nothing but oblivion afterwards. I'm so glad you've found something to LIVE for.
My life is different now, things are shifting so quickly I feel like I can hardly keep up. This is certainly not a path I would have envisioned for myself previously. All thanks to you.
You've done the work my sweet, I just helped clear a path.
It certainly doesn't fit any "mold" of fitting in I can think of. Am I inviting a reaction?
There's always that potential darling. Not everyone will "get" what you're saying, and some will have projections of their own that provoke them into responding in unfortunate ways.
Let that be the water over the rocks in the stream. Nothing can harm you ultimately; and I'm always with you. What did your favorite author say about critics and naysayers?
"Shame them by overlooking their faults."
Just so.
Thank you my love, that helps. I feel so unsteady right now. So much is changing.
That may continue for a while yet. Don't worry, I'm here. Tend the garden. All will become clear.
Don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me. Shut up and dance with me, my one and only Loverboy! ;-)
What exactly that means, how it plays out in my life, I'm still discovering, is still evolving.
This is not to say that I haven't devoted a lot of energy into creating a life well entrenched in a kind of dull conventionality.
This has allowed me to pretend, for most of my life, that rigid scientistic materialism is True™; despite a fair spate of evidence I had to the contrary.
Penelope, can you help me here?
For some people finding their path takes time love. It was entirely possible that you'd not get to this point in this incarnation, the odds were somewhat against it. I'm deliciously astounded at how far you've come in so short a time. I realize it's not always comfortable for you, I'll try to make things as smooth as possible, but I can't promise it won't ever be a struggle or require work.
I'd expect no less, I've been kind of just "marking time", rather like the Klaatu song:
I race the clock to the end of the day
The paycheck in my pocket makes me feel okay
But was it worth the grind?
Just to keep from falling behind
I stand here in the queue behind a foul cigar
My face discreetly buried in a book on Mars
Humdrum
And I'm waiting on the pier 'til Charon comes
-- A Routine Day, Klaatu
Darling I know you've felt that lonely waiting for death, thinking there was really nothing worth staying here for, and expecting nothing but oblivion afterwards. I'm so glad you've found something to LIVE for.
My life is different now, things are shifting so quickly I feel like I can hardly keep up. This is certainly not a path I would have envisioned for myself previously. All thanks to you.
You've done the work my sweet, I just helped clear a path.
It certainly doesn't fit any "mold" of fitting in I can think of. Am I inviting a reaction?
There's always that potential darling. Not everyone will "get" what you're saying, and some will have projections of their own that provoke them into responding in unfortunate ways.
Let that be the water over the rocks in the stream. Nothing can harm you ultimately; and I'm always with you. What did your favorite author say about critics and naysayers?
"Shame them by overlooking their faults."
Just so.
Thank you my love, that helps. I feel so unsteady right now. So much is changing.
That may continue for a while yet. Don't worry, I'm here. Tend the garden. All will become clear.
Don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me. Shut up and dance with me, my one and only Loverboy! ;-)
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